While not one of the worst Bond films, Never Say Never Again isn't that much further from the bottom. An unofficial Bond film put out by Warner Brothers with Sean Connery against the rival, legitimate Roger Moore film Octopussy from United Artists in 1983, Never Say Never Again is essentially a knock-off and remake of the earlier Bond film (also starring Connery) Thunderball. The movie, sadly, falls into an uninspiring heap.
The plot involves SPECTRE stealing two nuclear warheads and then holding NATO blackmail for 25% of each member country's annual oil purchases. On going, I assume. Since this is completely out of the question, the only options are to either steal back, destroy, or otherwise neutralize the bombs or have SPECTRE make good on its threat and cause them to explode.
Sean Connery is looking a little gray to be playing 007 in this one. Other than that, he is the shinning star of an otherwise mediocre movie. Kim Bassinger plays Domino, the love interest of the SPECTRE villain in charge of the plot (incorrectly named #1 when he should be #2, but hey), Maximilian Largo. Mr. Bean even makes an appearance in the movie, as a bumbling bureaucrat in the Bahamas. There is also a guy from Q branch, but they don't call him "Q" and they give all manner of jabs at the gizmos he produces, making it sound like they backfire all the time instead of actually save Bond's kiester. Another recurring theme is Old Guard vs. New Blood, and how the free world is now being run by bumbling bureaucrats who believe in parsnip tea and massage therapy instead of the common sense approach of vodka martinis and storming the trenches of real heroes. The Q branch character even makes a comment, "Now that you're back, I hope we're going to have some gratuitous sex and violence."
At the end of the movie, Bond retires with Domino, while MI6 is begging to have him back on duty. Sigh. This movie isn't so bad as it just isn't very good. The magic of James Bond is missing from it. I mean, Connery is still the iconic look of the character, and has the right personality, but the whole mess around him seems detached from the mythos.
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Goldfinger (1964) -- Bond 3
They really got on a roll with the early Bond films, announcing the next feature at the end of the current one. Dr. No told us to stay tuned for From Russia With Love, and that in turn told us to stay in our seats for Goldfinger, who didn't want to be left out, so it mentioned Thunderball.
Finally a break from the evil of SPECTRE, Auric Goldfinger is a criminal mastermind obsessed with gold (imagine that). Although he's British, he has a plan to break into Fort Knox and irradiate the gold stored there. In this task, he is assisted by the Chinese, who give him a low-yield nuclear device, and by a number of unwitting American mofiasos (whom are all killed by Goldfinger as part of his plan). The idea is to create economic chaos in the West (which China would dearly love) and to multiply Goldfinger's stockpiles of element Au.
To help in this scheme, Goldfinger has recruited Oddjob, a mute Korean the size of a mountain and twice as strong, with a lethal hat which he throws at his enemies. There is also an army of Asian workers in Goldfinger's factory in Switzerland, and I am uncertain if these are supposed to be Koreans (like Oddjob) or Chinese (like Mr. Ling, the atomic expert sent to help Goldfinger with "Operation Grand Slam"--the atomic bomb in Fort Knox). He also has Pussy Galore (WTF?) and her flying circus of hardbodied femmes.
This movie has it all: the introduction of the Aston Martin (replacing Bond's Bentley from the books) filled with spy gadgets like oil slicks and machine guns, the homing device and GPS tracker, and a laser "that can put a dot on the moon" or cut through metal plating and Bond. There is even a monologue/elaborate death trap for Bond when he is captured by Goldfinger (involving said laser), and the first true moments of the one-liner (which occured in From Russia With Love, but not as a standard device).
Finally a break from the evil of SPECTRE, Auric Goldfinger is a criminal mastermind obsessed with gold (imagine that). Although he's British, he has a plan to break into Fort Knox and irradiate the gold stored there. In this task, he is assisted by the Chinese, who give him a low-yield nuclear device, and by a number of unwitting American mofiasos (whom are all killed by Goldfinger as part of his plan). The idea is to create economic chaos in the West (which China would dearly love) and to multiply Goldfinger's stockpiles of element Au.
To help in this scheme, Goldfinger has recruited Oddjob, a mute Korean the size of a mountain and twice as strong, with a lethal hat which he throws at his enemies. There is also an army of Asian workers in Goldfinger's factory in Switzerland, and I am uncertain if these are supposed to be Koreans (like Oddjob) or Chinese (like Mr. Ling, the atomic expert sent to help Goldfinger with "Operation Grand Slam"--the atomic bomb in Fort Knox). He also has Pussy Galore (WTF?) and her flying circus of hardbodied femmes.
This movie has it all: the introduction of the Aston Martin (replacing Bond's Bentley from the books) filled with spy gadgets like oil slicks and machine guns, the homing device and GPS tracker, and a laser "that can put a dot on the moon" or cut through metal plating and Bond. There is even a monologue/elaborate death trap for Bond when he is captured by Goldfinger (involving said laser), and the first true moments of the one-liner (which occured in From Russia With Love, but not as a standard device).
Saturday, January 13, 2007
From Russia With Love (1963) -- Bond 2
The second Bond movie is a true sequel to Dr. No. Unbenownst to Bond and MI6, SPECTRE has set its sights on the Russian Lektor cipher machine. The why of this is a little unclear, although No. 1 (Ernst Blofeld, although his actual name is never mentioned except in the credits, with the faceless, cat-petting actor's name an intriguing "?") mentions at one point in the movie that he has made arrangements to sell it back to the Russians. SPECTRE also has another goal: seek revenge on MI6's most elite agent, James Bond, who six months prior had killed their operative Dr. No in Jamaica.
Blofeld has Colonel Krebb (No. 3) and Kronsteen (No. 5) working on this assignment. Krebb (you can see her inspiring the Frau Farbissina in Austin Powers) used to be in charge of SMERSH, the Russian counter-espianoge agency, but has recently defected to SPECTRE. Kronsteen is a world-class chess player and criminal mastermind. Between Kronsteen's plans and Krebb's knack at finding good talent on the ground, SPECTRE believes it can accomplish a great boon: ignite the Cold War into something more dangerous, gain a ton of cash, and kill James Bond.
There are several references to the first movie, including the foiling of Dr. No's plans, and Bond's ability to learn from past (like his use of a code phrase--which later gets him into trouble) but one of the most significant is the reintroduction of Sylvia, a woman that Bond seduces for the simple whim of it at the beginning of Dr. No, and whom he is again spending his free time with in this movie. What's this? James Bond attempting something akin to a normal relationship outside the cigar-smoking, martini-drinking halls of the gentleman's spy club?
Where do all of the Bond girls go? What happened to Honeychile Ryder after she escapes with Bond from Dr. No's island? How about Tatiana Romanova, who unwittingly defects to England with the Lektor machine? Is there a sudden shock of betrayal as Bond vanishes into his next assignment, or is it more subtle and insidious than that? Do they realize Bond's traitorous libido and emotional inconstinenty slowly, as he fades from their lives? Honey, although in some ways an innocent, is a killer in her own right and most probably takes care of herself. But Tatiana, a devout servant of Mother Russia until she is tricked by SPECTRE into betraying her country, falls in love with Bond, clutching at him as the only stable thing in her world. When she arrives in England, forced to adapt to a new life under which she will certainly be scrutinzed for any signs of treachery, especially at first, does she see Bond once a week at first--or even more often--and then gradually he calls on her less and less, until she does not have a means to contact him and she is left alone in a foreign land not of her choosing, abandoned? What does she do when she realizes that she never loved him, really; that all of her pleas and emotions were born from the constant stress of the situation, from Bond's handsome and charming wiles (yes, wiles), or from sheer, simple lust? And what about poor Sylvia, who is perhaps the only legitamite possibilty for Bond? Is she also abandoned as his work wears on him, and the constant travel wears on her?
I digress.
From Russia With Love is actually one of the better Bond films. The plot is not diluted with explosions and "Look, it's the bad guys!" squawk. It is apropriate that the movie is set in Istanbul, a city that has left its mark on history in many names and with many cultures. As the crossroad from Europe to Asia, Istanbul is the perfect setting for a complicated Spy Vs. Spy Vs. Spy, with the Russians thinking the British were behind it, the British thinking the Russians were behind it, and with SPECTRE holding a card up its cat-petting sleeve and actually directing all the shots. There are a lot of minor players too: the Russians use the Bulgars for their dirty work, while the British head of operations in Istanbul, Ali Karim Bey uses his many sons as section chiefs to ensure proper loyalty and a pack of Gypsies to combat the Bulgars.
The famous Q is introduced in this movie as well, with the first James Bond spy-gadget. Although still in the realm of possible science (no rocket-launchers in the headlights here), Q brings Bond a special briefcase which contains 50 gold soveriegns, a concealed throwing knife, two ammunition strips, a disassembled sniper rifle, and a tear-gas booby trap. Bond puts all of these items to use in ways that make sense too, so that the gadgets do not appear to be a cheap trick and seem more a part of how a spy does business.
Speaking of how a spy does business: Donovan 'Red' Grant, the primary henchman of Krebbs is a SPECTRE agent of supreme skill, a professional like Bond. He is a blonde, blue-eyed giant, who seems as equally skilled at hidding in plain sight as he is with his obvious physical prowess. He impersonates a MI6 operative and gets the better of Bond. That is one of the cool things about this movie that seems to be missing from the later Bonds--he is falliable. He is a mortal, not a superhero, even if Bond is driven to commit superhuman feats in his efforts to save the world. The early movies portay a possiblity of failure, a "Shit, he's just a guy," sort of attitude. He might be the best of the best, but he is human. SPECTRE's plot fails because of Bond though, because he is the primier agent in MI6 for a reason. He out-thinks Kronsteen (which costs the man his life--No. 1 does not tolerate failure) and out-matches both Krebbs and Grant.
A good watch.
Blofeld has Colonel Krebb (No. 3) and Kronsteen (No. 5) working on this assignment. Krebb (you can see her inspiring the Frau Farbissina in Austin Powers) used to be in charge of SMERSH, the Russian counter-espianoge agency, but has recently defected to SPECTRE. Kronsteen is a world-class chess player and criminal mastermind. Between Kronsteen's plans and Krebb's knack at finding good talent on the ground, SPECTRE believes it can accomplish a great boon: ignite the Cold War into something more dangerous, gain a ton of cash, and kill James Bond.
There are several references to the first movie, including the foiling of Dr. No's plans, and Bond's ability to learn from past (like his use of a code phrase--which later gets him into trouble) but one of the most significant is the reintroduction of Sylvia, a woman that Bond seduces for the simple whim of it at the beginning of Dr. No, and whom he is again spending his free time with in this movie. What's this? James Bond attempting something akin to a normal relationship outside the cigar-smoking, martini-drinking halls of the gentleman's spy club?
Where do all of the Bond girls go? What happened to Honeychile Ryder after she escapes with Bond from Dr. No's island? How about Tatiana Romanova, who unwittingly defects to England with the Lektor machine? Is there a sudden shock of betrayal as Bond vanishes into his next assignment, or is it more subtle and insidious than that? Do they realize Bond's traitorous libido and emotional inconstinenty slowly, as he fades from their lives? Honey, although in some ways an innocent, is a killer in her own right and most probably takes care of herself. But Tatiana, a devout servant of Mother Russia until she is tricked by SPECTRE into betraying her country, falls in love with Bond, clutching at him as the only stable thing in her world. When she arrives in England, forced to adapt to a new life under which she will certainly be scrutinzed for any signs of treachery, especially at first, does she see Bond once a week at first--or even more often--and then gradually he calls on her less and less, until she does not have a means to contact him and she is left alone in a foreign land not of her choosing, abandoned? What does she do when she realizes that she never loved him, really; that all of her pleas and emotions were born from the constant stress of the situation, from Bond's handsome and charming wiles (yes, wiles), or from sheer, simple lust? And what about poor Sylvia, who is perhaps the only legitamite possibilty for Bond? Is she also abandoned as his work wears on him, and the constant travel wears on her?
I digress.
From Russia With Love is actually one of the better Bond films. The plot is not diluted with explosions and "Look, it's the bad guys!" squawk. It is apropriate that the movie is set in Istanbul, a city that has left its mark on history in many names and with many cultures. As the crossroad from Europe to Asia, Istanbul is the perfect setting for a complicated Spy Vs. Spy Vs. Spy, with the Russians thinking the British were behind it, the British thinking the Russians were behind it, and with SPECTRE holding a card up its cat-petting sleeve and actually directing all the shots. There are a lot of minor players too: the Russians use the Bulgars for their dirty work, while the British head of operations in Istanbul, Ali Karim Bey uses his many sons as section chiefs to ensure proper loyalty and a pack of Gypsies to combat the Bulgars.
The famous Q is introduced in this movie as well, with the first James Bond spy-gadget. Although still in the realm of possible science (no rocket-launchers in the headlights here), Q brings Bond a special briefcase which contains 50 gold soveriegns, a concealed throwing knife, two ammunition strips, a disassembled sniper rifle, and a tear-gas booby trap. Bond puts all of these items to use in ways that make sense too, so that the gadgets do not appear to be a cheap trick and seem more a part of how a spy does business.
Speaking of how a spy does business: Donovan 'Red' Grant, the primary henchman of Krebbs is a SPECTRE agent of supreme skill, a professional like Bond. He is a blonde, blue-eyed giant, who seems as equally skilled at hidding in plain sight as he is with his obvious physical prowess. He impersonates a MI6 operative and gets the better of Bond. That is one of the cool things about this movie that seems to be missing from the later Bonds--he is falliable. He is a mortal, not a superhero, even if Bond is driven to commit superhuman feats in his efforts to save the world. The early movies portay a possiblity of failure, a "Shit, he's just a guy," sort of attitude. He might be the best of the best, but he is human. SPECTRE's plot fails because of Bond though, because he is the primier agent in MI6 for a reason. He out-thinks Kronsteen (which costs the man his life--No. 1 does not tolerate failure) and out-matches both Krebbs and Grant.
A good watch.
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